missing someone

I wrote this awhile ago and saved it in my drafts.

missing someone today.
someone that i grew close to and well loved/cared for.
someone i had fun with.
someone who treated me like i deserved to be treated.
someone that knew my love language and met it.
someone who took care of my car, took out the garbage, and took all my time.
someone that became smothering, draining, and clingy.
someone that didn't believe in Him or himself.
someone who made changes really only for me.
someone that counted on me to be his source of happiness.
someone i had to convince myself to let go of.
missing someone today and it's still a struggle.

a friend told me today..."you would maybe date him because YOU chose him, not because GOD chose him. I think God knows better then you. Let go and trust Him."

this my friends is the humbling truth. 

The holidays are here and it is the time of year when having a special someone to go to Mt. Baker and night sled with, drink hard cider, go look at Christmas lights, snuggle up next to the fire with, and all the romantic cold time of year things...make it hard not to reminisce on the past and fun memories. I struggle with whether I made the right decision 6 months ago to break up with my ex. Looking back on this saved draft "venting" I wrote reminds me that despite the fun we had in the holiday season last year, we still had a lot of differences that made our relationship not so perfect. Lord knows I deserve the best and I would tell that to any one of my girlfriends if they were in my situation. 

"life is what you make it and it is too damn short to worry about the past or fret about the future" - quote by me